Baby Blues

My daughter has some stunning blue eyes. I'd love to take credit for them, but mine are really more of a steely grey. Anyway, here are some pictures from Sena and I's latest photo shoot. I expect I'll be having photo shoots more often, as I figure out what to do with my time.








Some pics from the bath, too. See how long her hair is getting?

8 Years

As of this past fall, I had been with Healing Lifestyles & Spas for eight years- through four publishers, three states, and numerous incarnations. In December, new owners purchased the magazine, which appeared to be much-needed and exciting news. However, within eight weeks of the sale, they've shut down the title and laid everyone off. Needless to say, I'm going through so many different emotions that I don't even know where to start. At first I was sad, then I was mad, and now I just want it to be over with. I have to say, that although it may sound a bit crazy, I'm so thankful that we have Sena. I realize it isn't terribly responsible to have a child without a job (trying to figure this one out), but when I'm having a bad day, moment, or about to panic, she does such a great job bringing me back to the present. Because, what is really more important than this?

Butterflies

Today is the first day of working and taking care of Sena (grandma and grandpa are in Asheville). So, I decided to take Sena to the Butterfly Pavilion (www.butterflies.org) at Jessica's request. Not sure what to really expect, I packed her up thinking she'd at least be entranced by the winged creatures. At first, she really was. Red, blue, green, pink. The butterflies were amazing. They even had a Blue Morpho, which I think was the allusive butterfly in The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean. At 12:30 they announced they'd be "releasing the butterflies." Expecting a super cool display, we set ourselves up early and waited, and then the butterfly expert came out with a cage full of new baby butterflies. Beautiful, but Sena was at this point disinterested. Her attention span was gone and she wanted to walk around. So, we walked around and she looked at butterflies, and the exotic plants, and then she found the most amazing thing of all—the drain. And, that was the end of her interest in butterflies.

Moving

I'm pondering a problem we seem to be having. Sena isn't crawling, and it really shouldn't be a surprise to me. She's figured out that if she says, "uh, uh, uh," mama or papa will come move me. So, instead of learning to crawl, fall, and reach- she rolls onto her back and looks at us nice and innocently, saying, "Um, next?!" The funny thing is that although this gives her some sort of gratification, once she learns she can move on her own, she'll have the instant kind of gratification, and she'll be moving even further toward her ever-illusive independence. So, should I settle for her "uh, uh" in order to delay this?

Letter Month Ten

Dear Sena,



You've officially been on this planet as long as I was pregnant. A strange statistic, since I feel like you've been here forever, and can't really imagine life without you. Things have been pretty stressful lately as mama embarks on a new direction with the magazine (new owners),and papa starts his potentially last semester of school and a new internship. I know these things mean nothing to you, but really we do all of this work so that we can take care of you, and sometimes, unfortunately, we get caught up in it. For that, I'm sorry. You're so good at making us come back to the moment- your ever-enduring enthusiasm, gigantic smile, and screeches are a great reminder that there is nothing more important than being here for you.

You are officially "on the move" this month, although your "moves" aren't those one would expect of a 10-month-old. You still don't want to crawl, but are able to get onto your hands and knees, rock, rock, rock, and do a face plant. (We usually can catch you.) You've taken three steps by yourself, however! It seriously trips me out that you're walking. I look around at our house and realize this was not the house to purchase for a child. Two sets of stairs, three levels, and lots of "stuff" makes me want to pack up and move. Your adventure = my nervous breakdown.

This coming month is going to be a new adventure for all of us. Grandma and Grandpa are off to Asheville to be there for the birth of your new cousin! We can't wait to find out who Aunt Tanya & Uncle Charles will bring home. A boy? A girl? Meanwhile, papa and I will be taking care of you, and receiving help from our fabulous friends and aunt Carrie. This month you'll also be starting swim lessons! Much like your wardrobe, you have several very stylish swimsuits... will you wear the bikini, or the sporty two-piece?! Many decisions to be made. You'll also get to see mama's best friend, Lori, this month. Last time Lori saw you you made quite an impression with your smiling, laughing, and let's not forget the massive explosion you had in the carseat that required a hose down and pit-stop at grandpa and grandma's. Sorry. That is probably a moment you'd like to forget.

I'm behind in my picture taking, but have a new video of you walking. Once I figure out how to post it, I'll get it up here and share with our family and friends the joy of seeing you take your first steps. Three more steps toward independence. Can't you slow down?



love you,
mama

Four States- Five Days. We might be crazy.

We just returned from a very whirlwind trip on the East Coast, traveling from D.C. to Hoboken, New Jersey (just outside NYC) to meet the new owners of HL&S and to finally meet Mac- Brent & Erin's 1-year-old daughter. Sena was such a rock star on the plane. I almost didn't want to say anything, but she slept, played, and was in a great mood despite being confined for four hours. I'm sure the next time we travel it won't go as smoothly since she'll know that she can get down and run around.

After visiting with the new owners in Annapolis, we loaded Sena up into a rental car and drove to Hoboken- thereby driving through three more states. The trip went pretty smooth, but I have to say (and sorry to my East Coast friends), I feel spoiled living in Colorado. We have a city here, but I don't have to deal with traffic if I don't want to. And, if I ever feel stressed, I can usually just look west and see those terrific looming mountains and feel better. Again, I'm biased, but feel so thankful to live out west.

Anyway, seeing Sena and Mac together was quite a trip. Sena still isn't crawling, but will "walk" if you hold her hands. Mac is crawling, but in a very unique- lopsided sort of way. However, as soon as we returned, Sena has been trying to crawl. Getting up onto her hands and knees and rocking, rocking, rocking, splat! She hasn't figured out that she needs to pick up her hands in order to propel forward.

While we were there Erin & Brent through Mac her first birthday party. Kiddos galore! Poor Sena had her toys taken from her repeatedly, while other children were climbing around and over her as they moved around. She sat quietly, watching. It's hard not to put our emotions onto them, however. But I'm pretty sure that although I felt like she must be jealous, she seemed pretty chill. Yes, we have a pretty chill child. Anyway, here are some pics of the kiddos.

2008 through a child's eyes

For our New Year's Eve, Steven and me (along with Chad, Juli, and Will) went to our friends' Tara and Greg's home (parents of Tristan) for our first celebration with kiddos. Tara & Juli both went to great lengths preparing fabulous dishes (with more than five ingredients—nice job ladies!), and Tristan, Will, and Sena took center stage with their agility stunts.

At dinner, Tara & Greg set out placecards- each setting with a different word or theme, which was to be used for that individual's toast. As we each pondered what we'd talk about a common thread emerged. With such words as health, happiness, love, peace, and prosperity, you'd think the toasts would run the gamut from work to play to national security. And while one toast did deservingly go to Barack Obama, the other toasts were made to an entirely different generation—our kids.

As I look back on 2008, I'm overwhelmed with emotion. It was certainly filled with some of the most significant moments of my life. Becoming a mother and delivering my daughter into the world changed who I am and who I want to be. It changed my perspective on life, and how I spend my time. While my life is certainly less glamorous and tidy, it is more full of smiles, joys, and spontaneity. And, really, becoming a mother helped me reconnect with all of the myriad ways I once found happiness. Things that perhaps had been buried in the monotony of becoming an adult. Singing, dancing, laughing, giggling, wearing a funny duck hat just to make her laugh... I guess 2008 was the Year of the Child for me. Having my own- and reconnecting with my inner child, too.